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June 28, 2011
All characters depicted in
Promisetown Tales are the property of Michael Walker.
These characters and events are fictional and any resemblance to persons living,
dead,
or fictional or situations past, present, or fictional is purely and completely
coincidental.
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[ Back to Bit 9
] [
Bit 11 ]
[
Table of
Contents ] |
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From the Desk of
Ruby Less Begonia
Top Ten
Tips for Drag Queens
by Ruby Less Begonia
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10. |
If your name is Tom, change it to something
like Tiffany; if you have a problem with that, drive a 10-wheeler. |
| 9. |
Smoking cigarettes is not a look -- it's a
sound. Rather than make you look alluring, like Bette Davis; they make
you sound like Lucille Ball in her final days. |
| 8. |
Body hair is to be avoided at all costs.
Bathe in Nair. |
| 7. |
Use proper fitting footwear; shoes that are
too big for your feet make you walk like Jacqueline Suzanne. |
| 6. |
Bra Sizes -- AA = 1/2" (your father); G = 7"
(yikes) |
| 5. |
Teeth are important to drag queens. If you
don't have them, purchase them. |
| 4. |
Carrying a purse larger than an attaché case
does not promote femininity. |
| 3. |
Style the wig before you apply it to your
head, Mary. |
| 2. |
No matter how fantastic you look in a
sequined evening gown; you probably still look ridiculous in a bikini. |
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And the number
one tip for drag queens is: |
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1. |
Accessorize, accessorize, accessorize. |
Next: Bit 10
Things were
different when Max worked on Broadway |
Author Notes
All characters depicted in Promisetown Tales
are the property of Michael Walker.
These characters and events are fictional and any resemblance to persons
living, dead,
or fictional or situations past, present, or fictional is purely and
completely coincidental. |
|
[
Table of
Contents ] |
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|
